Friday, November 5, 2010

MAA (mutual assumption agreement)

Some years ago at a gathering of Yonsei 7 parents we got on the topic of engagements. A rough poll indicated that out of roughly 8 couples in our age bracket (hint: we got married in the 80s) 7 out of the 8 husbands never really proposed. Each couple just said there came a point where they decided it was time to get married. The next day as word got out on the subject, more people (wives) came up to me to confirm the mutual assumption agreement. In other words both parties just assumed they would get married at some point.

Now I know guys who have made creative proposals. Pete N comes to mind as he hid the ring in a cracker jacks box and proposed at the pier. Gayle recalls me just saying it was time to get married. She still can't remember if she agreed. I have a new quest in life to find out how other couples agreed to get married.

Now my son goes out and does something I never even thought about. He takes her to the beach by the school where they met in La Jolla, has friends stationed with a camera and posters. He takes her to the spot and proposes. The signs were made of 1,000 cranes that he made (with the help at the last minute from friends when he was running short). He then brings her back to LA for a surprise engagement party for friends and family. You can view the pictures from the beach at:
http://lynnchyi.com/tiffany-and-jeff-engaged/

The question that came to Gayle and me was "who's kid is this?" Im not sure it is a Wada thing as I suspect my cousins from up North were more romanticly oriented (Brian, Rod, David and Jon). I know over the years his uncle Buddy has always recomended ways to propose "this would be a nice spot", but it is coming from a guy who decided to get engaged and married within a 24 hr. period. The one hypothesis: the more practical one is, the less romantic you are, failed with Jeff. He is very practical. There is one strong streak of me in him, he kept teasing her with fake proposals. "Tiff will you be ......my girlfriend forever?" At which point she threatened to turn him down and make him beg the next time he actually did propose.

Oh, by the way, you may have figured out by now: Jeffrey Wada and Tiffany Chu are now officially engaged. We are excited.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Summer reflection, Fall into school

As Jeff heads into his last year of graduate school, we take time to breathe and to look back as It has been a little over a year since the surgery. What shocked that back into my mind was that I saw Jeff bend over the other day and saw his surgical scars. Everyone at the hospital (Torrance and San Pedro) kept telling us that it will take a year, but he will do ok due to his youth. They were right.

This time of year is always rough for us. Not only did Jared start school, but Gayle started a new teaching position at a new school. All those years of collecting 4th and 5th grade materials have now been stored away and replaced with 1st grade materials……. If you are married to a teacher, you probably know that the whole family is eventually involved in moving, cleaning, preparing the room, etc. At her new school, she is able to stay late at night to work and she is fortunate to have friends and a sister that comes to help out. So the first weeks of school, everyone keeps their distance until the classroom settles down. Of course Jeff is learning from all of this as Tiff is starting her second year of teaching high school science.

One last note, you know you have a teacher in the family if you find all members shopping at an office supply store to purchase enough “limited quantities” to supply all students. I am always amazed at the number of teachers out there purchasing supplies out of their own funds, the opposite of what I experience at work. Over the years we have purchased major office items to make her tasks easier to manage. Our last purchase was a long reach stapler so she can make booklets, this is among the tripods for posters, heavy duty staplers, hole punches, non endangering paper cutters, etc.

The best indication on how Jeff is doing is to describe some of his life experiences. Jeff came home last week and told me that he had just played basketball. Internally my mind went “what the #$@* were you thinking, you can reinjure…….” But before I could spit that out, I saw the expression on his face as he explained It was half court, he couldn’t run too well, or jump, but he did ok. That gave me a sigh of relief. But I had to figure out how to tell Gayle without her doing the same. I got a “WHAT!?, Oh, that’s good”.

During the summer, Gayle gave Jeff and Jordan the assignment of cooking once a week. I never thought that going away to college would enable them to develop their culinary skills. For the years I spent in college, I learned to visit different relatives for meal. Jeff can be found in the kitchen with his laptop following recipes. He tends to be more adventurous in creating his food. Jordan usually follows the uncle Cliff style of bbq outdoors and the staples of fried rice and dinosaur chicken nuggets. Jared takes after me and sticks to ramen.

Jordan built a bbq and prep table out back in our attempt to take back the backyard from the feral cats. Our dog Jade has enabled us to start the process. We were able to set up a fountain and fire pit, while clearing out years of salvage materials (don’t throw that out, I can use that…..some day). Of course the weekend the 4 of us went out of town for a basketball tournament, Jeff had a backyard bbq get together with his friends.

The Wadas are doing ok…………….

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Adjusting to change (or not)

It has been a long time since I last updated the log. One thing occurred to me reading other blogs, it does not need to be extensive or perfect. But a snapshot of the blog subject. And a bit more frequent than once every six months.........


A few things change as time goes by. Jared and I were at Kings Hawaiian for a West High Basketball fund raiser. Jared of course noticed that I now qualify for the 15% senior discount. Some things don't change. Jeff gave me two books of the Far Side for Fathers day. I still find myself laughing and enjoying each page.


Jeff has moved on in life. He is currently in summer school with a full load. He drives himself and stays once or twice a week at a friends place in Long Beach. He claims the couch. He was able to counsel at Mt Hermon in June with his friends at the high school camp. That was sort of a milestone as he was scheduled to counsel last year before his surgery. Of course Jared was not thrilled his brother and his friends were the staff at the same camp he was attending. The story told was that they did not see much of each other the whole week.


The things that have not changed much is his condition. Dr. Long was quick to get rid of his cane in Dec. She felt he was using it too much for his balance. The reaction of the staff that worked with Jeff was a joy to see. They were all glad to see him and see him walking on his own. In their line of work, it is assumed that they don't get too many patients that recover that well. At times he looks like a kid just starting to walk. He will be walking, then seem like he is slightly careening off course, but always recovers. This is an exaggeration, but you get a rough picture. He is in PT since then, and even took the water exercise class at El Camino.


The one thing missing from before his surgery was the physical activity. He does walk Jade every so often, but now days its more of getting up to let her out into the backyard. Jade somehow has trained Jordan to take her on her daily walks.


The parental fear never goes away. We watch him lift weights and cringe, he goes off without telling us and we worry, We see him plan his future and we hold our breath. We see his faith and somehow find comfort.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Wada Legacy

As stated in the past, one of the benefits of having Jeff at home is that he helps out with Jared. He drives him to school, checks up on his homework, monitors his computer usage and even put parental controls on the tv in his (Jeff's) room. Jared is the typical 3rd child that has to follow in his brothers' footsteps. In his case it is more like good cop, bad cop with Jeff and Jordan. He often reaps benefits from his brothers, but then occasionally rebels. For example as with his brothers, he is called "Wada" at school by both the students and faculty. For some reason that bothers him as he prefers Jared.


You would think the span of 6 and 8 years difference in age between him and his brothers would be to his advantage. Apparently not. Most of his teachers remember Jeff and Jordan. Most of the time that is positive and he is coerced into living up to or exceeding his brothers past impressions.


In band, he is know as Little Wada. When Jordan was in his senior year and the Drum Major, the summer after graduation the band went to Europe for 2 weeks. Auntie Judy took Jared on the tour with Jordan and the band. Therefore the freshmen of that year remember him as Little Wada. Those freshmen are now seniors. Just when Jared thought he had made it through to a point of establishing himself outside of the shadow of Jordan came the last football game.


For those of you not familiar with Marching Band, they perform at competitions as well as at all home football games during half time. The tradition at West is at the last home game, any former Drum Major gets a turn at leading the band. Now when Jordan was Drum Major, he made his impression in many ways. One was his conducting during the performance. He would climb onto a stand that was like a 8' step ladder with a thin rail in front of him just below his waist. As he conducted, his whole body and the stand would sway with the rhythm. At each performance Gayle and I would worry the stand would collapse or tip over.


As Jordan got up to conduct at the last football game, they were chanting "Wada". Jordan quickly resumed his Drum Major demeanor and proceeded to conduct the band in what is hard to describe. He not only swayed with the rhythm, but it turned into a semi dance performance in front of the band and football crowd. Up until this time, the band's performance was pretty passive. But they quickly picked up the pace and had a lot of fun with the music. You can see it on You Tube (Jordan Wada Conducting), but you will notice that the person recording it was laughing so hard, it is hard to see. A better version is on Jordan's Facebook page.


Gayle and I went from "Uh Ohhhh" to bending in laughter. Of course the expression from Jared's face was familiar. From that point on, Jared's fate was sealed until he graduates at West high as "Little Wada".

No news is good news

As the saying goes, you have not heard from me for a few months. Time to catch up.
The important stuff: Jeff is doing fine. He is still at the plateau, but looking good. He walks with a cane, but around the house I find them laying around in an obstacle course fashion. He will use any cane, and is often seen with his Grandma's old bamboo and ginger cane. Don't ask me why.

Jeff started his second semester at CSU Fullerton Grad school. His schedule changed to four days a week. We decided to drive him at least one of the nights he has classes to give him some rest. The other days his classes are during the afternoon. Our main concern is his endurance and his susceptability to colds and illness. His goal is to play basketball again, but mainly on the perimeter. He needs to improve his 3 point shot.

In November just before Thanksgiving, we did the unthinkable. We adopted a dog (brown labrador). Her name is Jade due to her green eyes. I got a call from Gayle to meet her at a house in Gardena. When Jared and I got there, I was instructed to pick a dog. Out of a litter of 13, there were 4 female dogs left. As a sign of things to come, right after they left to take her home, I had to make a trip to Target just before they closed to pick up supplies. It was worse than when the boys were born. Dog bowls, Dog food, collars, leashes, etc. She was 3 months and 20 lbs. She is now 35lbs and is projected to be around 65.

In the past when asked why we didn't get a dog, my response was: In a family of 5, I am #5. If we get a dog, I fall to #6. No one would beleive me and laugh. Meet the guy who picks up the dog poo. I do find myself visiting all the pet stores, researching the internet and buying all kinds of stuff for Jade. Pink collars, dog beds, dog house, etc.

Who walks the dog? Well, during the day, Jeff will take her out. At night after work or in the mornings on the weekends, Gayle. But at 10 or 11 at night.......it is me. My cap, heavy jacket full of folded plastic poop bags, and a flashlight to find the poop in the dimly lighted streets of West Torrance.

We end the dog tales for now with her rabies shot. I took her in for her shot and brought her home. 4 hours later, 10 minutes after we left her in good condition Gayle gets a call. She is reacting like something horrible has occured to someone we know. Jeff?, Jared (he was in the car with us), Jordan? ........ Jade (you can guess if you fell somewhere between Jordan and Jade). She had an allergic reaction and her face was swollen shut. An emergency visit to the animal hospital (yes there are 24 hr. animal hospitals. don't ask why there are more of those than human hospitals) , shots, pills and $$ later, we are almost back to normal. Except we had to feed her boiled chicken for a few days, with predesone and benedryl.

In december after christmas, Jeff and Tiff took both families to Jockos in Nipomo up by Santa Maria. Whenever this happans, we start a betting pool on whether they will announce something. We stopped briefly in Solvang on the way up. The worst part was listening to the whining of the boys about Solvang. Jordan was the worse. Upon declaring he will never be back, we warned him one day he will return on a date outing. Of course he would have to have someone willing to come with him........No one won the pool.

Jeff and Tiff are going on their annual snowboarding trip to Big Bear. I would say it will be an adjustment for Jeff, but he is like Gayle and does not like the cold, so he will take his customary spot by the fireplace and ESPN. I have been told his job is to instruct people on how to install the tire chains. I spent the day getting the van ready for him to take up. Emergency supplies, tools, GPS, oil change, etc. But in thinking about it, it was more for Gayle's peace of mind.

I normally am cautiously optimistic when it comes to Jeff's recovery. But I have to admit there still remains a lot of anger as to how can this happan to Jeff of all people. There are the normal responses of God's will, all works out for the best.... but still.....Life is indescriminate, unfair, unpredictable,etc. Sin in this world manifests in different ways. It is not just our behavior or nature, but our environment. It is not just our surroundings, or the effects of a uncontolled world, but where it impacts our lives with unexpected events. How do you predict cancer? life changing accidents? Financial collapse due to the economy? While I am sure this shortened Gayle and My lifespan a bit due to the stress involved, we are more concerned about Jeff's long term well being. Accepting why the event occured is another issue.