Don't ask why but these are some of my favorite YouTube videos (not including Comedians in Cars getting Coffee and Jame Corden's Carpool Karaoke)
Reba McIntyre singing So Far Away from her tv show Reba
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c23HF5A4lGc
A modern version of the theme to the Andy Griffith Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR7rWvj5s4k
The last opening of Craig Ferguson's Late Late Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHRC184WqD0
The theme to MadMen with lyrics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEj0z0maxzM
Jordan Smith's version of Great is Thy Faithfulness on the Voice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm-KsLytcW0
A long forgotten song from my past. A version of Wes Terasaki's He is God
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQUO9VlK5MI
Time to go to sleep
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
There Must be Better Things to Read Online
I'm a little surprised people actually read this blog. I use it more for therapy than for information or amusement. I am attempting to correct any perceptions based on a previous post. It was written after the initial diagnosis at 4 in the morning.
At this point of time, I'm not feeling as though the diagnosis is fatal. There is more hope than futility. As one doctor put it, "if it was stage 4, there is nothing we can offer." Ouch. That kind of woke me up a bit.
I have family, a wife that will not let go, friends, co workers who have shown tremendous support. This is a bit unusual for me this time, as I am more accepting of the support. During the heart bypass, I wanted to be in solitude.
But I will admit, the wait is driving me batty. 2 months for a colonoscopy, 2 weeks to get scheduled for surgery, 3 weeks until surgery, 2 more weeks before knowing the future course of action, 6 months of possible Chemo therapy. In between all of this are appointments, more pokes to the veins, opinions from different perspectives, instructions through multiple phone calls.
I now keep my insurance card next to my drivers license as each Dr. and lab requires a copy. I have memorized all of my medications and dosage. I am now quite familiar with my family health history which may be painting a genetic path that has been passed on to the boys (sons and grandsons). I have actually read the fine print of all the multiple documents presented to me for my signature.
I am constantly carrying my folder of information with a spiral notebook of notes as they occur down this path of uncertainty. It becomes my other therapy and a distilled record of events.
I find myself preparing my hospital bag 3 weeks in advance. Amazon is benefiting from my book requests. You would assume I am purchasing inspirational life stories or theological themes. I am ordering books on how to create videos, audio recording through the computer, and improvisational comedy. And an old tattered copy of the NIV bible that is printed in novel form. Chapters, paragraphs, single column, no notes, commentary, etc.
I would assume all of this is an indication that I expect to continue living for some time.
I am also revisiting the will, trust, what will Gayle be left with. I am also reinforcing to the boys that no matter what happens to me, they are to continue living their lives. It does not go on hold or sidetrack from what they are doing. Finish school, get married, have the grandkids I will not live to see. Oops.
You can tell that is a re occurring thought. Here is hope that I do get to see them all in my lifetime here on earth.
At this point of time, I'm not feeling as though the diagnosis is fatal. There is more hope than futility. As one doctor put it, "if it was stage 4, there is nothing we can offer." Ouch. That kind of woke me up a bit.
I have family, a wife that will not let go, friends, co workers who have shown tremendous support. This is a bit unusual for me this time, as I am more accepting of the support. During the heart bypass, I wanted to be in solitude.
But I will admit, the wait is driving me batty. 2 months for a colonoscopy, 2 weeks to get scheduled for surgery, 3 weeks until surgery, 2 more weeks before knowing the future course of action, 6 months of possible Chemo therapy. In between all of this are appointments, more pokes to the veins, opinions from different perspectives, instructions through multiple phone calls.
I now keep my insurance card next to my drivers license as each Dr. and lab requires a copy. I have memorized all of my medications and dosage. I am now quite familiar with my family health history which may be painting a genetic path that has been passed on to the boys (sons and grandsons). I have actually read the fine print of all the multiple documents presented to me for my signature.
I am constantly carrying my folder of information with a spiral notebook of notes as they occur down this path of uncertainty. It becomes my other therapy and a distilled record of events.
I find myself preparing my hospital bag 3 weeks in advance. Amazon is benefiting from my book requests. You would assume I am purchasing inspirational life stories or theological themes. I am ordering books on how to create videos, audio recording through the computer, and improvisational comedy. And an old tattered copy of the NIV bible that is printed in novel form. Chapters, paragraphs, single column, no notes, commentary, etc.
I would assume all of this is an indication that I expect to continue living for some time.
I am also revisiting the will, trust, what will Gayle be left with. I am also reinforcing to the boys that no matter what happens to me, they are to continue living their lives. It does not go on hold or sidetrack from what they are doing. Finish school, get married, have the grandkids I will not live to see. Oops.
You can tell that is a re occurring thought. Here is hope that I do get to see them all in my lifetime here on earth.
Monday, June 27, 2016
A Few More Scars.
It is a comfort to the world that I will never take off my shirt in public. Other than the older out of shape figure, it is the sight of a long scar down the middle of the chest, the two lower scars that drained fluids after the heart surgery creating an inverted face of eyes and nose, it will soon be joined with five other yet to be decided marks of surgery. Laproscopic is what I have been told, not knowing where or the length. I might be able to sell the photo as modern art on ebay. I need a title.
The diagnosis and plan is the following. Stage 3 cancer of the transverse colon. Right Extendcolectormy is the surgical term given to be performed July 19th. If things go ok, everything gets connected, and in 2 to 3 weeks possibly back to the cube farm. Chemo therapy follows for up to 6 to 9 months. Chemo depends on what they find when they go in to remove the cancer.
Are there options? Possibly, but it would require other consultations. Word of mouth is this group of Doctors are very good at what they do, working as a team. In the mean time I am absorbing way too much info to fully understand.
The side issues remain, is the will and trust up to date? Are the beneficiaries correct on all accounts and what happens to the company benefits? When planning for the worse, reality sets in. A few more scars doesn't seem that bad after all.
The diagnosis and plan is the following. Stage 3 cancer of the transverse colon. Right Extendcolectormy is the surgical term given to be performed July 19th. If things go ok, everything gets connected, and in 2 to 3 weeks possibly back to the cube farm. Chemo therapy follows for up to 6 to 9 months. Chemo depends on what they find when they go in to remove the cancer.
Are there options? Possibly, but it would require other consultations. Word of mouth is this group of Doctors are very good at what they do, working as a team. In the mean time I am absorbing way too much info to fully understand.
The side issues remain, is the will and trust up to date? Are the beneficiaries correct on all accounts and what happens to the company benefits? When planning for the worse, reality sets in. A few more scars doesn't seem that bad after all.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Mortality
Sometimes I think I'm just waiting to die. As we get older, death becomes inevitable. The question becomes when and how. Two days ago I went through a colonoscopy procedure and they found a large mass in my colon. The doctor sat me down and described what he found. The way he presented it was neutral. It could be cancer or it could me benign.
It wasn't until the next day I actually read the medical report. It said it was malignant. I started getting phone calls that same afternoon of the procedure from Drs. offices and nurses scheduling appointments. Blood tests, CT scans, Surgeon, Oncologist, etc. I feel as though I have the needle marks of a junkie from all the different blood tests.
As the day goes by, especially during the quiet of the late night, I just sit and think i'm sitting here watching tv just waiting to die.
So begins my journey of hope and destiny. It may long and hopeful or it may be disappointment and short.
It wasn't until the next day I actually read the medical report. It said it was malignant. I started getting phone calls that same afternoon of the procedure from Drs. offices and nurses scheduling appointments. Blood tests, CT scans, Surgeon, Oncologist, etc. I feel as though I have the needle marks of a junkie from all the different blood tests.
As the day goes by, especially during the quiet of the late night, I just sit and think i'm sitting here watching tv just waiting to die.
So begins my journey of hope and destiny. It may long and hopeful or it may be disappointment and short.
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