It has been about a month since my last Chemo treatment but i have been feeling better only the last two weeks. I was talking today to someone I have known since the college days about his bout with esophageal cancer. There was a bond in shared experiences. Surgery, Chemo, the affects during and the continuing reminders. He is now 3 years cancer free.
It felt comforting to have the shared experiences. It's one of those things that are hard to describe. It is like being a grandparent. Once you become one, you understand that look. The look when you gaze upon the child in your arms. It is different than when your child was born. That next generation that is a part of you.
The comfort in shared cancer experiences vary. Gayle tried attending a cancer support group. She found people where their personal situation was considerably more drastic. But one common denominator was a lack of faith in God. The suffering becomes self centered. What I have been reading is that our faith in God diverts the suffering, the burden, to be given up, not just shared. Of course I admit I have not gotten to that point yet.
The forgotten people are the support folks. Especially family. Gayle has been the rock, support and brunt of my emotional mood swings. Pair that with her profession as a public school teacher, increases the pressures of life. Which reinforces the concept that love is blind.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Monday, March 20, 2017
Pain in the XXXX
One of the permanent affects of the Chemo Therapy is neuropathy of the extremities. In the past I have described it as a "fuzzy" feeling in my finger tips. I have also been noticing it slightly in the bottom of my feet. The fuzzy feeling is affecting my fine motor skills that require manual dexterity. I notice my printing is now looking like my handwriting. For those of you unfamiliar with my writing, I have printed ever since they stopped giving me a grade in handwriting. I barely squeaked out Cs throughout grade school. My printing has become somewhat distinct as it has evolved into a certain style. It's current legibility is comparable to my 4 year old grandson's writing.
It has not detrimentally affected any other manual function. Typing on the keyboard is a little strange. The tactile feel is not quite there, and I have trouble using a track pad. This will be a permanent result of chemo and one Dr. has recommended vitamin B12 as a possible aide in lessening the affect. Time will also diminish the neuropathy, but to what extent is unknown.
Overall it is a small price to pay. It is also a constant reminder of the cancer and it's possible comeback. I'm currently reading a book by Phillip Yancy, Where is God When it Hurts. The first section is on the value of pain, and how it is a warning system. It also goes into how pain enhances pleasure. Interesting concepts.
It has not detrimentally affected any other manual function. Typing on the keyboard is a little strange. The tactile feel is not quite there, and I have trouble using a track pad. This will be a permanent result of chemo and one Dr. has recommended vitamin B12 as a possible aide in lessening the affect. Time will also diminish the neuropathy, but to what extent is unknown.
Overall it is a small price to pay. It is also a constant reminder of the cancer and it's possible comeback. I'm currently reading a book by Phillip Yancy, Where is God When it Hurts. The first section is on the value of pain, and how it is a warning system. It also goes into how pain enhances pleasure. Interesting concepts.
Friday, March 10, 2017
Larry H Parker
I noticed recently that the lawyer commercials have changed over the years. They were once dominated by Larry H Parker and Jacoby and Meyers. Now its Joseph Emrani and a assortment of firms soliciting clients for various ailments.
It is now been two weeks since my last round of chemo pills. Now I wait for the chemo drugs to filter out of my system. The past few days I have been feeling better but still feel the affects of the drugs. I still tremble when attempting to write, Fuzzyness in the finger tips, slight tinge of the taste buds, and fatigue.
June will be my appointment with the oncologist to compare the scheduled tests with my baseline. Those tests include a CT Scan and colonoscopy.
Today I met with the surgeon. Interesting info. He removed 40% of my colon. Essentially everything is functioning well with a few adjustments in the bowel process that are permanent.
He did mention that the tingling in the hands will probably diminish with time but never go away completely as a result of chemo.
i did just get through watching an episode of Charlie Rose on cancer treatment. Immunology Therapy appears to be the next frontier. Apparently with colon cancer they are experimenting with applying it after chemo.
As with the lawyer commercials, cancer treatment will evolve. (didn't think I would be able to tie those two together!)
It is now been two weeks since my last round of chemo pills. Now I wait for the chemo drugs to filter out of my system. The past few days I have been feeling better but still feel the affects of the drugs. I still tremble when attempting to write, Fuzzyness in the finger tips, slight tinge of the taste buds, and fatigue.
June will be my appointment with the oncologist to compare the scheduled tests with my baseline. Those tests include a CT Scan and colonoscopy.
Today I met with the surgeon. Interesting info. He removed 40% of my colon. Essentially everything is functioning well with a few adjustments in the bowel process that are permanent.
He did mention that the tingling in the hands will probably diminish with time but never go away completely as a result of chemo.
i did just get through watching an episode of Charlie Rose on cancer treatment. Immunology Therapy appears to be the next frontier. Apparently with colon cancer they are experimenting with applying it after chemo.
As with the lawyer commercials, cancer treatment will evolve. (didn't think I would be able to tie those two together!)
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Insomnia
Round 8 is being distinguished as the Insomnia round. Tomorrow I approach the completion of the first week. I'm drowning myself in room temp lemonade and powerade, managing the hourly output discharge And trying to alter my sleep pattern. No such luck. It is 3:30am.
I was talking to a friend recently about our heart conditions, he had stents, I had bypass. Someone we know our age recently had a heart attack. Both of us were tempted to send a "welcome to the club" message, but thought better of it. A little on the morbid side and the many that have not the privilege of the experience may object. But I learned today that someone else I know will be undergoing heart surgery. We are at the age where this is no longer an anomaly. It is a trend. So how is your health status?
I can only offer support and answer any questions about the recovery. My aunt is sad in that many of her friends have passed on and with each funeral, you can see the effect deepening. I'm beginning to get a glimpse in understanding her feelings. I can list on one hand friends that were dear to me who passed on, but as we age, our list grows. I'm not sure what this implies to my life currently, but food for thought.
Of course, the opposite of all this is grandchildren. They provide joy, and optimism for the future.
I was talking to a friend recently about our heart conditions, he had stents, I had bypass. Someone we know our age recently had a heart attack. Both of us were tempted to send a "welcome to the club" message, but thought better of it. A little on the morbid side and the many that have not the privilege of the experience may object. But I learned today that someone else I know will be undergoing heart surgery. We are at the age where this is no longer an anomaly. It is a trend. So how is your health status?
I can only offer support and answer any questions about the recovery. My aunt is sad in that many of her friends have passed on and with each funeral, you can see the effect deepening. I'm beginning to get a glimpse in understanding her feelings. I can list on one hand friends that were dear to me who passed on, but as we age, our list grows. I'm not sure what this implies to my life currently, but food for thought.
Of course, the opposite of all this is grandchildren. They provide joy, and optimism for the future.
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Temperature Control
In previous posts, I have shared the adverse reaction to coldness due to the Chemo drugs. It occurred to me that I have made more adjustments than I thought.
House temperature: keeping the house consistent is a dilemma due to the original floor furnace. So I rely on the blanket, down comforter and electric blanket combination. This gives me flexibility in adjusting to both the outside environment and internal body fluctuations.
Auto: The van has been stocked with various blankets, pillows, and drinks to keep me comfortable. They also provide a great deal of comfort for Gayle when I drive.
Aparrel: hats, extra jackets for layering, long pants, no slippers, and that is just to get the newspaper from the driveway. Digital just does not do it for me. The morning newspaper and coffee are still a habit.
Drinks: It is always a challenge to not only determine which types of fluids are working. They seem to change with each round but red powerade seems to be the consistent favorite. The problem comes when determining the temperature of the liquid. Most of the time I leave it out on the coffee table at room temperature. But if it is still too cold, I will tuck them under the bed covers next to me to warm up. I have gotten used to asking for tap water at restaurants as requesting water with no ice is still too cold.
Hygiene: it seems a little wasteful, but I often have to run the water until it warms up before I can wash my hands. At least our bathroom is close to the water heater and the warm water comes quickly vs the kitchen.
Refridegeration: when it comes to refrigerators, especially at stores, chemo brain fog kicks in. I usually forget about the fuzzy chill until I open the fridge or freezer door at Costco. I avoid Nijiya stores as their ambient temp in the store is on the colder side. Don't even ask about the kitchen fridge as I wear shorts at home.
I'm still looking forward to that ice cold Coke later this year.
House temperature: keeping the house consistent is a dilemma due to the original floor furnace. So I rely on the blanket, down comforter and electric blanket combination. This gives me flexibility in adjusting to both the outside environment and internal body fluctuations.
Auto: The van has been stocked with various blankets, pillows, and drinks to keep me comfortable. They also provide a great deal of comfort for Gayle when I drive.
Aparrel: hats, extra jackets for layering, long pants, no slippers, and that is just to get the newspaper from the driveway. Digital just does not do it for me. The morning newspaper and coffee are still a habit.
Drinks: It is always a challenge to not only determine which types of fluids are working. They seem to change with each round but red powerade seems to be the consistent favorite. The problem comes when determining the temperature of the liquid. Most of the time I leave it out on the coffee table at room temperature. But if it is still too cold, I will tuck them under the bed covers next to me to warm up. I have gotten used to asking for tap water at restaurants as requesting water with no ice is still too cold.
Hygiene: it seems a little wasteful, but I often have to run the water until it warms up before I can wash my hands. At least our bathroom is close to the water heater and the warm water comes quickly vs the kitchen.
Refridegeration: when it comes to refrigerators, especially at stores, chemo brain fog kicks in. I usually forget about the fuzzy chill until I open the fridge or freezer door at Costco. I avoid Nijiya stores as their ambient temp in the store is on the colder side. Don't even ask about the kitchen fridge as I wear shorts at home.
I'm still looking forward to that ice cold Coke later this year.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Light at the end of the tunnel
Today platelets were low, but up from last week. Therefore round 8 was approved to proceed. It just means that I need to be especially careful to not be exposed to infections and germs for the next 3 to 4 weeks. We meet with the Oncologist in two weeks to see what is in store for the completion of my treatments.
A friend who is living in Japan has been reading the blog and has sent a variety of masks to lighten up the mood. Apparently Japan is the land of surgical masks for consumer consumption. I can now be fashionable in my choice of masks. Plaid, mickey mouse, unknown and charcoal. Thanks Joyce!!!
This weeks choice of liquids are of the semi sweet kind. It's been organic lemonade from Costco.
Breakfast has been TJs cereal and unsweetened soy milk and of course a mug of Peets Arabian Mocha Java.
After talking with Gayle the other night, some subjects came up. The prospect of me not being around (always a possibility whether or not the cancer is cleared). Retirement, Heath Benefits, IRA accounts, wills, medical wishes (DNRs), etc. Sobering stuff. Some have been in the works, others need to be accelerated for peace of mind.
Speaking of the future, Jeff and the family are moving into their new home in Allen, Texas this week.
The house has 4 bedrooms, one designated for visiting grandparents. Of course this grandpa has claimed a spot on the floor in the boy's room.
By the way, you can tell have finally figured out how to upload pictures to the blog.
A friend who is living in Japan has been reading the blog and has sent a variety of masks to lighten up the mood. Apparently Japan is the land of surgical masks for consumer consumption. I can now be fashionable in my choice of masks. Plaid, mickey mouse, unknown and charcoal. Thanks Joyce!!!
This weeks choice of liquids are of the semi sweet kind. It's been organic lemonade from Costco.
Breakfast has been TJs cereal and unsweetened soy milk and of course a mug of Peets Arabian Mocha Java.
After talking with Gayle the other night, some subjects came up. The prospect of me not being around (always a possibility whether or not the cancer is cleared). Retirement, Heath Benefits, IRA accounts, wills, medical wishes (DNRs), etc. Sobering stuff. Some have been in the works, others need to be accelerated for peace of mind.
Speaking of the future, Jeff and the family are moving into their new home in Allen, Texas this week.
The house has 4 bedrooms, one designated for visiting grandparents. Of course this grandpa has claimed a spot on the floor in the boy's room.
By the way, you can tell have finally figured out how to upload pictures to the blog.
Friday, February 3, 2017
Bummed
Round 8 was postponed again, making this a two week wait due to my platelets being low again. It was explained to me that low platelets make me more susceptible to infection and reduces my ability for my blood to clot. I have to avoid getting cut, and exposure to germs. I was so looking forward to starting my last round.
This setback is another reminder from my wife that nothing is ever normal with me. But putting it in perspective, it does not adversely affect the long term plan for treating the cancer.
This setback is another reminder from my wife that nothing is ever normal with me. But putting it in perspective, it does not adversely affect the long term plan for treating the cancer.
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