Engineering Based Reality

Jordan's daily postings has somehow motivated me to be more current. I decided that the previous format was a little too dark.....so I am going with a brighter drab beige. I intend to post some pictures if I can ever take the time to figure out how to do it. The advantage I have is that my readership is limited even though accessable world wide. Which brings up my next diversion. We recently went to a family friend's daughter's wedding. We found that the new fun activity is photo booths. Yes, those curtained booths that you may remember from the mall or in my case, P.O.P. There was a line of guests all night. The participants and wedding couple each get a copy of the pictures.

Now the engineer in me thought "I can do that", words that strikes fear into Gayle's heart. So my new diversion is creating a photo booth for the wedding. Engineers do tend to be cheap and slightly in touch with reality. The Internet only encourages the delusion and the cost of creating one often exceeds the cost of renting one. I already downloaded some software, looking into the printer, modifying the computer setup and drawing up plans for the booth. At least I have 5 months to create, test and get approval from Jeff and Tiff. My budget is set, not including the cost of the photo paper and ink. As if I didn't have enough projects to do at home.

Now that Jordan has settled into his new living situation, we can relax a bit. Jeff continues to play basketball once a week. I mention this again as he is still adjusting to physical limitations. He also went running last night with Tiff. These are good signs.

Canes

I came across Jeff's assortment of canes tonight. As discussed in an earlier post, Dr. Long got rid of them to keep him from being dependant on them. It was a reminder to me of how far he has come. During Christmas, Jeff and Tiff's church, Lighthouse Community, has a Christmas Eve service. We attend every year as it is a simple celebration of Christ's birth. No blaring music, just a time to reflect and listen. The church usually has 4 members share their testimony. This year Jeff shared. He shared about his surgery and how he felt it was God teaching him his plan rather than Jeff's plan for his life. As a parent, it was a comfort to hear.

But as he spoke, I still felt the pangs of guilt. Could we have done something earlier, did we wait too long, could we have lessened severity of the injury. As I reflect on it now, Jeff's' message still has not sunk in. Resolving my guilt with the acceptance of Gods' will, will take a while longer than one night.

The Rate of Change

Changes are coming a little faster than I had anticipated this year. Yesterday we went with Jeff and Tiff to see the wedding site and taste test the reception food. As you might imagine, it was driven more by the female participants than the male ones. One tell tale sign was when they were discussing the color of the napkins. Tiff kept asking Jeff for his opinion. How do you tell between three shades of purple, what is the difference between pale yellow or poppy yellow? He did have an opinion on the food. I am actually excited for the wedding day. It is more of a comfort to see how Jeff and Tiff interact and care for each other. I am excited for their future.

It was a good time to get to know our future in laws. Howard and Bing invited us over for tea as they live close to the wedding site. It was interesting to hear about their conversion to Christianity and the influence they have had on their family and the numerous conversions. One of the topics that came up was on Asian culture. They are coming from a first generation Taiwan Chinese background, while we were trying to describe ourselves as more American Japanese vs Japanese, otherwise known these days a JA. that came up when we were trying to explain the thousand cranes as somehow being a cross over to being more of a JA tradition than Japanese. Tiff and Jeff are using cranes in their decorations. Just don't ask who is folding all those cranes.......

Lately I have been going through some sleepless nights. Last week I took Jordan to the airport for his trip to Paris, France. Since he just graduated from UCSD last month, we had anticipated that he would need to extend his health care by staying in school. This was in response to Jeff, my insurance cut him off within two weeks of his graduation. Since Jordan decided to apply to study abroad, Obama's health care plan went into effect where he gets covered until he is 25.

Gayle had figured Jordan would apply to the UC study abroad where they essentially take care of everything. They house you, set up the course work, and group you with other UC students. Well, Jordan decides to study one semester at Sciences Po, a French university with an emphasis on political science. This university provides little in life support, Jordan essentially shows up in France with his luggage in tow, little knowledge of French, a few euros and no where to stay. He has to find his way to the university from the airport and figure out temporary housing. I have not felt this helpless since Jeff went through his surgery. It started the moment I left him at LAX. I became one of those hovering parents tracking his flights to Paris. The problem was the flight tracking dropped off once the plane left the confines of the east coast. Hovering was replaced with a knot of anxiety, mine not Jordans.

On a positive note, we can follow Jordan through his adventures on his blog "Chance, Rants and Fancy Pants" http://jordaninfrance.wordpress.com/. Don't ask me about the title, but I discovered the neat comment feature on the blog. Everyday Gayle reads the blog and yells "I told you so Jordan!!!", goes to write a comment, then calms down. It has become her daily therapy.

Jared just turned 16. The significance of this event is not his growing up as a teenager (subject for other blog postings), or that he has two more years of high school, but that he continually reminds me that I am 40 years older than him. Read on......

My brother in law was recently admitted to the hospital for some work up. While there he was asked by the staff if I was his father. Not once, but twice, by two different people. Now, I know that my hair is grey and thinning (a Wada male trait, sorry guys) has made me look older, but I am only 6 years older than him. This has now become Gayle's favorite story. While I have never seen an entire episode of "Men of a Certain Age", the snippets I have seen ring true. You start dealing with aging parents, health issues such as cholesterol, colonoscopies, and high blood pressure. You start looking at long term care and essentially gambling that you will live to a ripe old age before your retirement funds run out. Being at the end of the baby boom does not increase my chances of any federal support being left. Gayle keeps reminding the boys that our retirement plan is...........them.

More changes to come, oh joy...........

MAA (mutual assumption agreement)

Some years ago at a gathering of Yonsei 7 parents we got on the topic of engagements. A rough poll indicated that out of roughly 8 couples in our age bracket (hint: we got married in the 80s) 7 out of the 8 husbands never really proposed. Each couple just said there came a point where they decided it was time to get married. The next day as word got out on the subject, more people (wives) came up to me to confirm the mutual assumption agreement. In other words both parties just assumed they would get married at some point.

Now I know guys who have made creative proposals. Pete N comes to mind as he hid the ring in a cracker jacks box and proposed at the pier. Gayle recalls me just saying it was time to get married. She still can't remember if she agreed. I have a new quest in life to find out how other couples agreed to get married.

Now my son goes out and does something I never even thought about. He takes her to the beach by the school where they met in La Jolla, has friends stationed with a camera and posters. He takes her to the spot and proposes. The signs were made of 1,000 cranes that he made (with the help at the last minute from friends when he was running short). He then brings her back to LA for a surprise engagement party for friends and family. You can view the pictures from the beach at:
http://lynnchyi.com/tiffany-and-jeff-engaged/

The question that came to Gayle and me was "who's kid is this?" Im not sure it is a Wada thing as I suspect my cousins from up North were more romanticly oriented (Brian, Rod, David and Jon). I know over the years his uncle Buddy has always recomended ways to propose "this would be a nice spot", but it is coming from a guy who decided to get engaged and married within a 24 hr. period. The one hypothesis: the more practical one is, the less romantic you are, failed with Jeff. He is very practical. There is one strong streak of me in him, he kept teasing her with fake proposals. "Tiff will you be ......my girlfriend forever?" At which point she threatened to turn him down and make him beg the next time he actually did propose.

Oh, by the way, you may have figured out by now: Jeffrey Wada and Tiffany Chu are now officially engaged. We are excited.

Summer reflection, Fall into school

As Jeff heads into his last year of graduate school, we take time to breathe and to look back as It has been a little over a year since the surgery. What shocked that back into my mind was that I saw Jeff bend over the other day and saw his surgical scars. Everyone at the hospital (Torrance and San Pedro) kept telling us that it will take a year, but he will do ok due to his youth. They were right.

This time of year is always rough for us. Not only did Jared start school, but Gayle started a new teaching position at a new school. All those years of collecting 4th and 5th grade materials have now been stored away and replaced with 1st grade materials……. If you are married to a teacher, you probably know that the whole family is eventually involved in moving, cleaning, preparing the room, etc. At her new school, she is able to stay late at night to work and she is fortunate to have friends and a sister that comes to help out. So the first weeks of school, everyone keeps their distance until the classroom settles down. Of course Jeff is learning from all of this as Tiff is starting her second year of teaching high school science.

One last note, you know you have a teacher in the family if you find all members shopping at an office supply store to purchase enough “limited quantities” to supply all students. I am always amazed at the number of teachers out there purchasing supplies out of their own funds, the opposite of what I experience at work. Over the years we have purchased major office items to make her tasks easier to manage. Our last purchase was a long reach stapler so she can make booklets, this is among the tripods for posters, heavy duty staplers, hole punches, non endangering paper cutters, etc.

The best indication on how Jeff is doing is to describe some of his life experiences. Jeff came home last week and told me that he had just played basketball. Internally my mind went “what the #$@* were you thinking, you can reinjure…….” But before I could spit that out, I saw the expression on his face as he explained It was half court, he couldn’t run too well, or jump, but he did ok. That gave me a sigh of relief. But I had to figure out how to tell Gayle without her doing the same. I got a “WHAT!?, Oh, that’s good”.

During the summer, Gayle gave Jeff and Jordan the assignment of cooking once a week. I never thought that going away to college would enable them to develop their culinary skills. For the years I spent in college, I learned to visit different relatives for meal. Jeff can be found in the kitchen with his laptop following recipes. He tends to be more adventurous in creating his food. Jordan usually follows the uncle Cliff style of bbq outdoors and the staples of fried rice and dinosaur chicken nuggets. Jared takes after me and sticks to ramen.

Jordan built a bbq and prep table out back in our attempt to take back the backyard from the feral cats. Our dog Jade has enabled us to start the process. We were able to set up a fountain and fire pit, while clearing out years of salvage materials (don’t throw that out, I can use that…..some day). Of course the weekend the 4 of us went out of town for a basketball tournament, Jeff had a backyard bbq get together with his friends.

The Wadas are doing ok…………….

Adjusting to change (or not)

It has been a long time since I last updated the log. One thing occurred to me reading other blogs, it does not need to be extensive or perfect. But a snapshot of the blog subject. And a bit more frequent than once every six months.........


A few things change as time goes by. Jared and I were at Kings Hawaiian for a West High Basketball fund raiser. Jared of course noticed that I now qualify for the 15% senior discount. Some things don't change. Jeff gave me two books of the Far Side for Fathers day. I still find myself laughing and enjoying each page.


Jeff has moved on in life. He is currently in summer school with a full load. He drives himself and stays once or twice a week at a friends place in Long Beach. He claims the couch. He was able to counsel at Mt Hermon in June with his friends at the high school camp. That was sort of a milestone as he was scheduled to counsel last year before his surgery. Of course Jared was not thrilled his brother and his friends were the staff at the same camp he was attending. The story told was that they did not see much of each other the whole week.


The things that have not changed much is his condition. Dr. Long was quick to get rid of his cane in Dec. She felt he was using it too much for his balance. The reaction of the staff that worked with Jeff was a joy to see. They were all glad to see him and see him walking on his own. In their line of work, it is assumed that they don't get too many patients that recover that well. At times he looks like a kid just starting to walk. He will be walking, then seem like he is slightly careening off course, but always recovers. This is an exaggeration, but you get a rough picture. He is in PT since then, and even took the water exercise class at El Camino.


The one thing missing from before his surgery was the physical activity. He does walk Jade every so often, but now days its more of getting up to let her out into the backyard. Jade somehow has trained Jordan to take her on her daily walks.


The parental fear never goes away. We watch him lift weights and cringe, he goes off without telling us and we worry, We see him plan his future and we hold our breath. We see his faith and somehow find comfort.

Wada Legacy

As stated in the past, one of the benefits of having Jeff at home is that he helps out with Jared. He drives him to school, checks up on his homework, monitors his computer usage and even put parental controls on the tv in his (Jeff's) room. Jared is the typical 3rd child that has to follow in his brothers' footsteps. In his case it is more like good cop, bad cop with Jeff and Jordan. He often reaps benefits from his brothers, but then occasionally rebels. For example as with his brothers, he is called "Wada" at school by both the students and faculty. For some reason that bothers him as he prefers Jared.

You would think the span of 6 and 8 years difference in age between him and his brothers would be to his advantage. Apparently not. Most of his teachers remember Jeff and Jordan. Most of the time that is positive and he is coerced into living up to or exceeding his brothers past impressions.

In band, he is know as Little Wada. When Jordan was in his senior year and the Drum Major, the summer after graduation the band went to Europe for 2 weeks. Auntie Judy took Jared on the tour with Jordan and the band. Therefore the freshmen of that year remember him as Little Wada. Those freshmen are now seniors. Just when Jared thought he had made it through to a point of establishing himself outside of the shadow of Jordan came the last football game.

For those of you not familiar with Marching Band, they perform at competitions as well as at all home football games during half time. The tradition at West is at the last home game, any former Drum Major gets a turn at leading the band. Now when Jordan was Drum Major, he made his impression in many ways. One was his conducting during the performance. He would climb onto a stand that was like a 8' step ladder with a thin rail in front of him just below his waist. As he conducted, his whole body and the stand would sway with the rhythm. At each performance Gayle and I would worry the stand would collapse or tip over.

As Jordan got up to conduct at the last football game, they were chanting "Wada". Jordan quickly resumed his Drum Major demeanor and proceeded to conduct the band in what is hard to describe. He not only swayed with the rhythm, but it turned into a semi dance performance in front of the band and football crowd. Up until this time, the band's performance was pretty passive. But they quickly picked up the pace and had a lot of fun with the music. You can see it on You Tube (Jordan Wada Conducting), but you will notice that the person recording it was laughing so hard, it is hard to see. A better version is on Jordan's Facebook page.

Gayle and I went from "Uh Ohhhh" to bending in laughter. Of course the expression from Jared's face was familiar. From that point on, Jared's fate was sealed until he graduates at West high as "Little Wada".