One image that I haven’t seen yet is a open heart surgery veteran wearing tank tops or open shirts. You just don’t see anyone advertising their scars proudly. Yet the daily reminder of my mortality (seeing my scar in the mirror after my shower, the handful of meds and supplements taken twice a day, the stiffness of the right calf) has not changed my view on life. It’s more of a why am I still here? I have no desire to go out and flaunt the fact I survived. Too many have passed or are suffering due to their surgeries. I guess I better go watch a rerun of It’s a Wonderful Life. In a bit of irony, his name is George.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Becoming a SME
At work there is a term called a SME (pronounced smeee), an acronym for Subject Matter Expert: is an individual with in-depth knowledge of the subject and the motivation to transfer their knowledge to others. Apparently I have become a Cardiac Bypass Survivor SME.
Gayle’s long time friend’s brother had bypass surgery on this past Thursday, quadruple. He had asked his sister to make sure I came by to visit.
What provoked him to ask for me was his frustration with the Dr.s answers to his questions. How long will this take, what happens next, etc. Except, I don’t remember much, but some of it is coming back……
In preparation for the visit, Gayle and I were trying to come up with a list of items that were of use to me in my recovery period.
Cocoa Butter stick: When Gayle first bought this at CVS, it was 99 cents. They have now discontinued it, reformulated it (adding Vitamin E) and charging more for less product. It was recommended by our dr practitioner. If you ever had a large scar, you will know at times feel like it crinkles like a peppermint candy wrapper. Well, this softens the area, especially after a hot shower in the morning.
Micro bead pillow: At little Co of Mary hospital, they gave me a heart shaped pillow to hold against my chest when I coughed. That helps hold things in and makes coughing less painful.
After a while my pillow was pretty filthy from various fluids leaking out of the various cutouts of my body. They also give you a pen for people to sign like a cast, so Gayle would not let me wash it for fear of washing out the ink.
I found a micro bead pillow helped a lot and I took it everywhere. It comes in handy especially in the car when you wife speeds through dips and you need a cushion between you and the seat belt. It also helps during those cat naps in the car. It is easily washed.
Long shoe horn**: These are typically found at Japanese stores or IKEA. It is a two foot long shoe horn so you don’t have to bend over to put your shoes on. They don’t want you using slippers when walking.
Oxygen sensor: It looks like a giant fat cloths pin that fits over the tip of your finger. It gives you readings on what percentage of oxygen is getting into your blood stream. When it got low, I would have to use the oxygen tank.
Picker**: these are those extension claws with a trigger handle that are marketed for the AARP generation. There are times when things are just out of your reach and you just can’t quite bend or extend to reach it. I found that it can also pull your socks up.
Aleve: I had reactions to Vicadin and therefore was told to use Aleve. It worked great and only had to take it twice a day.
Bath chair**: You are not allowed a bath until the incisions heal, and long showers is tough when you can’t stand long. We have a hand held shower head and I sat on a plastic stool that fit in the tub.
Handicap rails**: Another item from the Jeff days, we installed them in the front porch and bathroom which helped immensely.
Boxers: Tidy Widys (briefs) don’t work that well in terms of removing or putting them on. They are a lot easier to change without bending.
Hassock, Ottoman, foot rest, cushion, etc.: Something to prop the veinless leg up onto to keep it elevated.
Pillows, pillows, pillows and more pillows: I don’t think I laid flat for at least 3 months. You sleep slightly propped up. Some medical supply stores have triangle shaped cushions, I prefer pillows.
Loose t-shirts or Hawaiian shirts: Tight fitting tees don’t remove easily, when going out Hawaiian type shirts were great, they were loose and easy to put on and remove. But Hawaiian shirts and basketball shorts don’t make a fashion statement.
Things I didn’t use: Walkers, canes, sandals. I preferred to walk without assistance, even though Jordan would shadow me from a distance. When you walk without an aide, you walk like a 1 year old; you tend to occasionally veer to one side or for a split second lose your balance but not fall. “Whoa” or “oops” was a common utterance that would send anyone in earshot running.
Support hose: I didn’t use it but was told that it helps on the leg where they took out the vein. To this day, it is swollen and stiff in the morning
Note: The main limitation they impose is to not lift anything over one gallon of milk which is about 8 lbs. This seems like a redundant reminder, since you can easily feel the pain when trying to lift anything. But as rules go, you tend to ignore them. Even though it hurts, you for some reason still try to lift heavy items. And when you do, it sets back your healing just a bit until the next time you do it again.
** These items were already in place and were installed or purchased when Jeff had his back surgery. As stated in previous posts, if I ever move or remodel, these items will be incorporated. Especially the handicap rails.
Gayle’s long time friend’s brother had bypass surgery on this past Thursday, quadruple. He had asked his sister to make sure I came by to visit.
What provoked him to ask for me was his frustration with the Dr.s answers to his questions. How long will this take, what happens next, etc. Except, I don’t remember much, but some of it is coming back……
In preparation for the visit, Gayle and I were trying to come up with a list of items that were of use to me in my recovery period.
Cocoa Butter stick: When Gayle first bought this at CVS, it was 99 cents. They have now discontinued it, reformulated it (adding Vitamin E) and charging more for less product. It was recommended by our dr practitioner. If you ever had a large scar, you will know at times feel like it crinkles like a peppermint candy wrapper. Well, this softens the area, especially after a hot shower in the morning.
Micro bead pillow: At little Co of Mary hospital, they gave me a heart shaped pillow to hold against my chest when I coughed. That helps hold things in and makes coughing less painful.
After a while my pillow was pretty filthy from various fluids leaking out of the various cutouts of my body. They also give you a pen for people to sign like a cast, so Gayle would not let me wash it for fear of washing out the ink.
I found a micro bead pillow helped a lot and I took it everywhere. It comes in handy especially in the car when you wife speeds through dips and you need a cushion between you and the seat belt. It also helps during those cat naps in the car. It is easily washed.
Long shoe horn**: These are typically found at Japanese stores or IKEA. It is a two foot long shoe horn so you don’t have to bend over to put your shoes on. They don’t want you using slippers when walking.
Oxygen sensor: It looks like a giant fat cloths pin that fits over the tip of your finger. It gives you readings on what percentage of oxygen is getting into your blood stream. When it got low, I would have to use the oxygen tank.
Picker**: these are those extension claws with a trigger handle that are marketed for the AARP generation. There are times when things are just out of your reach and you just can’t quite bend or extend to reach it. I found that it can also pull your socks up.
Aleve: I had reactions to Vicadin and therefore was told to use Aleve. It worked great and only had to take it twice a day.
Bath chair**: You are not allowed a bath until the incisions heal, and long showers is tough when you can’t stand long. We have a hand held shower head and I sat on a plastic stool that fit in the tub.
Handicap rails**: Another item from the Jeff days, we installed them in the front porch and bathroom which helped immensely.
Boxers: Tidy Widys (briefs) don’t work that well in terms of removing or putting them on. They are a lot easier to change without bending.
Hassock, Ottoman, foot rest, cushion, etc.: Something to prop the veinless leg up onto to keep it elevated.
Pillows, pillows, pillows and more pillows: I don’t think I laid flat for at least 3 months. You sleep slightly propped up. Some medical supply stores have triangle shaped cushions, I prefer pillows.
Loose t-shirts or Hawaiian shirts: Tight fitting tees don’t remove easily, when going out Hawaiian type shirts were great, they were loose and easy to put on and remove. But Hawaiian shirts and basketball shorts don’t make a fashion statement.
Things I didn’t use: Walkers, canes, sandals. I preferred to walk without assistance, even though Jordan would shadow me from a distance. When you walk without an aide, you walk like a 1 year old; you tend to occasionally veer to one side or for a split second lose your balance but not fall. “Whoa” or “oops” was a common utterance that would send anyone in earshot running.
Support hose: I didn’t use it but was told that it helps on the leg where they took out the vein. To this day, it is swollen and stiff in the morning
Note: The main limitation they impose is to not lift anything over one gallon of milk which is about 8 lbs. This seems like a redundant reminder, since you can easily feel the pain when trying to lift anything. But as rules go, you tend to ignore them. Even though it hurts, you for some reason still try to lift heavy items. And when you do, it sets back your healing just a bit until the next time you do it again.
** These items were already in place and were installed or purchased when Jeff had his back surgery. As stated in previous posts, if I ever move or remodel, these items will be incorporated. Especially the handicap rails.
Monday, March 19, 2012
In and Out
How does one celebrate 6 months since his heart surgery? An In and Out burger with grilled onions, shared order of fries and a chocolate shake. Did I mention that In and Out opened finally across Hawthorne Blvd and Del Amo (about a quarter mile away from home). It was my first hamburger since the surgery and it will become my annual celebration, providing I walk there and back.......
Friday, March 9, 2012
Honoring A Life
There are quite a few things I never expected to happen in my life. I never expected to officiate a memorial service (3 so far), under go open heart surgery, or make decisions on another's life. I had promised my mother before she passed that I would take care of her husband (her second marriage, no blood relation),
I was in charge of his care and health decisions. That would entail taking him to his Dr. appointments, Hospitalizations, picking up his prescriptions, dealing with the Care Home and the associated bills.
Tosh would end up in the hospital about every 4 to 6 months for various ailments, this last one was fatal. (his hospitalizations would occur at the worst times, during Jeff's back surgery, right after my bypass surgery, are the major ones that come to mind). He always had a strong heart, but for some reason he contracted a bleeding disorder similar to Hemophilia. It took Kaiser a little over a week to figure out what was causing the bleeding (14 units of blood later). Once the Dr. determined the cause and course of action options, it was up to me to ultimately decide on how he will live out the rest of his life.
I had scheduled a meeting with the Dr's. to go over Hospice care after determining that any course of action to prolong his life, would actually cause major side affects or accelerate his death. It was a surprise to get the call of his passing that morning, the previous night he was up, alert, responding to my questions and looking relatively well. I had been having trouble getting hold of his last surviving brother and finally left a note at his door about Tosh's condition. He got to the hospital a few minutes after he passed.
The decisions I made were to ensure of his care, with little emotional attachment. I did not really know Tosh, he kept his distance from the family. My obligation was to my mother, in spite of our contentious relationship. Making the decisions about his health was not difficult, emotional detachment allows for straight forward decisions not encumbered by feelings of guilt. But seeing him laying in the bed after he passed bothered me. It was like, things could have been done better......but we did the best we could. I remember having to hospitalize him soon after my bypass surgery. Visiting him during my recovery selfishly thinking was this the reason I was allowed to live? To take care of a man that had little respect for me or my family? I learned that living does not allow for free passes, life continues and you have to deal with it.
For a man who was not gracious at times to those around him, his care givers did have an affection for him. He gave them grief and was not easy to deal with. But after delivering the news of his death, they were greatly saddened and asked about a viewing. The Takahashi bothers have a history of quick cremation and scattering at sea of the ashes with little fanfare.
What this experience told me was that we affect people no matter our disposition. As much as we say, just bury me with no fuss, it is those who have been left behind that need at least a little closure. Even if the person was deeply hated (Tosh was not) an emotional bond was tied and closure is still required. I am in a quandary as to how to provide this to those who knew him outside of the family. For his brother, I have arranged a excursion to scatter his ashes at sea.
I have a responsibility to still honor his life, not matter how he lived it.
I was in charge of his care and health decisions. That would entail taking him to his Dr. appointments, Hospitalizations, picking up his prescriptions, dealing with the Care Home and the associated bills.
Tosh would end up in the hospital about every 4 to 6 months for various ailments, this last one was fatal. (his hospitalizations would occur at the worst times, during Jeff's back surgery, right after my bypass surgery, are the major ones that come to mind). He always had a strong heart, but for some reason he contracted a bleeding disorder similar to Hemophilia. It took Kaiser a little over a week to figure out what was causing the bleeding (14 units of blood later). Once the Dr. determined the cause and course of action options, it was up to me to ultimately decide on how he will live out the rest of his life.
I had scheduled a meeting with the Dr's. to go over Hospice care after determining that any course of action to prolong his life, would actually cause major side affects or accelerate his death. It was a surprise to get the call of his passing that morning, the previous night he was up, alert, responding to my questions and looking relatively well. I had been having trouble getting hold of his last surviving brother and finally left a note at his door about Tosh's condition. He got to the hospital a few minutes after he passed.
The decisions I made were to ensure of his care, with little emotional attachment. I did not really know Tosh, he kept his distance from the family. My obligation was to my mother, in spite of our contentious relationship. Making the decisions about his health was not difficult, emotional detachment allows for straight forward decisions not encumbered by feelings of guilt. But seeing him laying in the bed after he passed bothered me. It was like, things could have been done better......but we did the best we could. I remember having to hospitalize him soon after my bypass surgery. Visiting him during my recovery selfishly thinking was this the reason I was allowed to live? To take care of a man that had little respect for me or my family? I learned that living does not allow for free passes, life continues and you have to deal with it.
For a man who was not gracious at times to those around him, his care givers did have an affection for him. He gave them grief and was not easy to deal with. But after delivering the news of his death, they were greatly saddened and asked about a viewing. The Takahashi bothers have a history of quick cremation and scattering at sea of the ashes with little fanfare.
What this experience told me was that we affect people no matter our disposition. As much as we say, just bury me with no fuss, it is those who have been left behind that need at least a little closure. Even if the person was deeply hated (Tosh was not) an emotional bond was tied and closure is still required. I am in a quandary as to how to provide this to those who knew him outside of the family. For his brother, I have arranged a excursion to scatter his ashes at sea.
I have a responsibility to still honor his life, not matter how he lived it.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Islands are Small
We recently came back from a quick trip to Hawaii. It's not what you think. let me explain. My niece (my sister Phyllis' daughter) got married on the main Island of Oahu. Due to Gayle's school schedule, it was only for three days over the President's weekend. It was the first time for Gayle to Hawaii, my third. Jordan and I hiked the big Island in 2000 for boy scouts, and I stopped in the airport for two hours on my way to Japan in 83.
Now we know a lot of people from Hawaii, and let it be known, they are not necessarily the best people to ask about visiting the Island. They lived there, stay at relatives and don't act or think like tourists. They are not great on addresses, directions or descriptions. But they do get excited you are going.
Now we stayed in Waikiki (I still have not figured out if this is a city or part of Honolulu) in a hotel next to the International Market on the main drag (don't even think of asking me to pronounce or remember the street name). In the 3 days, we never saw Waikiki beach or touched the water.
You treat Hawaii like visiting another country. It has its own culture, food and language. Point in case, I brought along our GPS because I wasn't going to pay extra in my economy car rental. Magellan does not use a Hawaiian voice, so when she reads out the street, it is unrecognizable. The only thing I remember is "ding ding, turn here......" People working in Waikiki apparently only know Waikiki, or at least that is what they say.
The Island is only so big, but when you make a wrong turn, it is not easily correctable. We were on our way back to Waikiki from Pearl Harbor, I somehow misunderstood the GPS and ended up on Highway H3. No problem, i will just get off on the next exit and turn around. Ten miles later, through what I was told when I returned to the mainland, be haunted land, ending up on the other side of the Island......
Hawaii is like Seattle, everyone says it is only 20 minutes away, on the complete other side of town........We criss crossed that city more times than I want to think about.
The swap meet at Aloha Stadium is not a swap meet, it is a huge, long conglomeration of farmers market type booths that circle the stadium,,,,,,,3 times, in concentric circles.
Pearl Harbor was worth the trip. I originally didn't think it was worth the time, but it had a impact on me in that it was the critical point of the Japanese American Experience. Due to the attack, my parents and grand parents were evacuated to camps, my dad enlisted in the US Army as an interpreter, mom was deported back to Japan after the war, both met in Nagoya as part of the occupation, etc.
The other neat thing was we got to see the Battle Ship Missouri and the exact spot where they Japan surrendered as well as the documents they signed.
Hawaii is beautiful, the descriptions are accurate, but...........only to visit. It is still as the original McGarrett would call it, the Rock. Only so big, surrounded by water, clear blue water, but none the less endless water.
How many people can you fit on a rock?
We spent more time at Zippys, Long's Drugs, Sams Club/Walmart and Don Quijote than anywhere else.
Just a note, when entering Don Quijote in the GPS, it is spelled with a J and not a X. Let it be known that the only place to get the pink, non stick spam musubi makers is at Longs, in Hawaii (not available on line).
Now we know a lot of people from Hawaii, and let it be known, they are not necessarily the best people to ask about visiting the Island. They lived there, stay at relatives and don't act or think like tourists. They are not great on addresses, directions or descriptions. But they do get excited you are going.
Now we stayed in Waikiki (I still have not figured out if this is a city or part of Honolulu) in a hotel next to the International Market on the main drag (don't even think of asking me to pronounce or remember the street name). In the 3 days, we never saw Waikiki beach or touched the water.
You treat Hawaii like visiting another country. It has its own culture, food and language. Point in case, I brought along our GPS because I wasn't going to pay extra in my economy car rental. Magellan does not use a Hawaiian voice, so when she reads out the street, it is unrecognizable. The only thing I remember is "ding ding, turn here......" People working in Waikiki apparently only know Waikiki, or at least that is what they say.
The Island is only so big, but when you make a wrong turn, it is not easily correctable. We were on our way back to Waikiki from Pearl Harbor, I somehow misunderstood the GPS and ended up on Highway H3. No problem, i will just get off on the next exit and turn around. Ten miles later, through what I was told when I returned to the mainland, be haunted land, ending up on the other side of the Island......
Hawaii is like Seattle, everyone says it is only 20 minutes away, on the complete other side of town........We criss crossed that city more times than I want to think about.
The swap meet at Aloha Stadium is not a swap meet, it is a huge, long conglomeration of farmers market type booths that circle the stadium,,,,,,,3 times, in concentric circles.
Pearl Harbor was worth the trip. I originally didn't think it was worth the time, but it had a impact on me in that it was the critical point of the Japanese American Experience. Due to the attack, my parents and grand parents were evacuated to camps, my dad enlisted in the US Army as an interpreter, mom was deported back to Japan after the war, both met in Nagoya as part of the occupation, etc.
The other neat thing was we got to see the Battle Ship Missouri and the exact spot where they Japan surrendered as well as the documents they signed.
Hawaii is beautiful, the descriptions are accurate, but...........only to visit. It is still as the original McGarrett would call it, the Rock. Only so big, surrounded by water, clear blue water, but none the less endless water.
How many people can you fit on a rock?
We spent more time at Zippys, Long's Drugs, Sams Club/Walmart and Don Quijote than anywhere else.
Just a note, when entering Don Quijote in the GPS, it is spelled with a J and not a X. Let it be known that the only place to get the pink, non stick spam musubi makers is at Longs, in Hawaii (not available on line).
Oddities
In anticipation of the Six month mark of my bypass surgery, I find myself searching the web for misc. stuff that peaks my interest. In my Google search, I found that the surgery is referred to as Coronary Arterial Bypass Graft (CABG) pronounced "cabbage".
Interesting enough, I haven't found too much in terms of physical chart on the bypass (that are affordable and not intended for a Med student). I printed out a diagram for a triple, and have read numerous articles on quadruple. I am currently searching for a poster that shows the quad bypass procedure.
What I have found are the following: Please note, these are not in the configuration of the typical valentine shaped heart.
Desk models of the heart: I have bookmarked one for $19, but have not hit the purchase button as I don't think it would go over well in my cube at work. I do have a spot between the borrowed Godzilla from Jared and my Boston Celtic Mr. Potato Head. " An excellent economical, life-size heart model...anatomically accurate....dissects into two parts......" In living color to boot.
Plush Beating Heart: yes, you read that right, "Anatomically correct plush heart, Beats and pulsates when shaken, Great for romantics and biologists....." I'm not sure of the gross out factor yet and if it is a medical doctor or engineer type romantic they are referring to. I was contemplating giving this to Gayle for Valentines Day, but came to my senses, sort of, there is always next year.....
Heart Hand Warmer: interesting but it was eliminated because it is in the shape of the Valentine Heart.
Giant Bleeding Heart Gummy candy. Enough said
Heart Bypass T-shirts and mugs: It is still not something I want to advertise. I still remember attending my first meeting after the surgery and was greeted with a round of applause. The first thing that came to my mind was "Gee, I'm being applauded for being an idiot, ignoring my cholesterol to the point of a heart attack and giving my wife more grief...." The shirts vary form pictures of the heart, chest zippers and catch phrases (zipper club, I survived my heart attack, etc.)
A color diagram of a single graft and where they pull a vein out of the leg. I haven't figured out yet how to print that out in a form I like. In other words it is not yet in a frame-able format.
Of course I have not ruled out creating something on my own.....Its either that or visit the shop on Oddities.
Interesting enough, I haven't found too much in terms of physical chart on the bypass (that are affordable and not intended for a Med student). I printed out a diagram for a triple, and have read numerous articles on quadruple. I am currently searching for a poster that shows the quad bypass procedure.
What I have found are the following: Please note, these are not in the configuration of the typical valentine shaped heart.
Desk models of the heart: I have bookmarked one for $19, but have not hit the purchase button as I don't think it would go over well in my cube at work. I do have a spot between the borrowed Godzilla from Jared and my Boston Celtic Mr. Potato Head. " An excellent economical, life-size heart model...anatomically accurate....dissects into two parts......" In living color to boot.
Plush Beating Heart: yes, you read that right, "Anatomically correct plush heart, Beats and pulsates when shaken, Great for romantics and biologists....." I'm not sure of the gross out factor yet and if it is a medical doctor or engineer type romantic they are referring to. I was contemplating giving this to Gayle for Valentines Day, but came to my senses, sort of, there is always next year.....
Heart Hand Warmer: interesting but it was eliminated because it is in the shape of the Valentine Heart.
Giant Bleeding Heart Gummy candy. Enough said
Heart Bypass T-shirts and mugs: It is still not something I want to advertise. I still remember attending my first meeting after the surgery and was greeted with a round of applause. The first thing that came to my mind was "Gee, I'm being applauded for being an idiot, ignoring my cholesterol to the point of a heart attack and giving my wife more grief...." The shirts vary form pictures of the heart, chest zippers and catch phrases (zipper club, I survived my heart attack, etc.)
A color diagram of a single graft and where they pull a vein out of the leg. I haven't figured out yet how to print that out in a form I like. In other words it is not yet in a frame-able format.
Of course I have not ruled out creating something on my own.....Its either that or visit the shop on Oddities.
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