Uncontrollable Shifts in Life

I started to think more about how events  change our lives.  Often these events are out of our control, like a heart attack.  Then I thought about the perception of one's status in life.  I got a little perturbed the other day listening to a Kaiser Permanente Ad for health care.  It talked about their program for the older generation, designed to help prevent typical accidents that occur in the later stages of life.  I got upset about how the commercial perceived the category of being a Grandparent.  You mention that term and you automatically envision elderly folks walking with canes,  and repeating themselves about the old days.

Of course the reason I got upset was that I now find myself in that category.  And apparently I am one of the first of my age group that is becoming a part of that group.  I always maintained that I rather be a young grandparent rather than one in a wheel chair, but now I am classified not as a parent of married children, but a grandparent.  Am I that old?  Do I look that old?  Do I feel that old?   I know I act that old, but really, am I that old?

I guess I have until April 26th to prepare mentally.  Did I mention I am still getting used to being called dad by my daughter in law?

Gayle and I, Howard and Bing Chu are pleased (thrilled with a little shock factor) to announce that Tiff and Jeff are expecting their first born in April :)

Anticipation

As the one year anniversary of my bypass surgery approaches, these are my observations.

I had anticipated full recovery by this time. In one word: Oops. I look and feel better, but still have lingering issues.


I had planned to take Gayle and the boys out to dinner to celebrate my surgery.

I had thoughts of something forbidden. I didn’t anticipate my diminishing craving for those items. So Gayle has decided we will eat at a Veggie type restaurant. I guess the boys will be escaping to In n Out for a late night snack.


There are still times where I get these pains in my chest. They are very brief and few and far between. But they constantly poke at me with a reminder of my mortality. And for some reason It provokes me to think about grandkids…….



I didn’t anticipate the psychological imprint of the event. I still haven’t become accustomed to the chest incision scar. I can feel it every day, at every moment. It is more of a presence that I am not sure ever goes away. It gets irritated when it is hot, it rubs against the seat belt where I have to hold the belt away from my chest as I drive, certain clothing materials irritates it more than others and I still don’t like touching it in the shower. I have not yet acknowledged the visual in the mirror as a permanent part of my body.



Of course I never anticipated a Heart Attack, but I do anticipate living for awhile.