Anticipation

As the one year anniversary of my bypass surgery approaches, these are my observations.

I had anticipated full recovery by this time. In one word: Oops. I look and feel better, but still have lingering issues.


I had planned to take Gayle and the boys out to dinner to celebrate my surgery.

I had thoughts of something forbidden. I didn’t anticipate my diminishing craving for those items. So Gayle has decided we will eat at a Veggie type restaurant. I guess the boys will be escaping to In n Out for a late night snack.


There are still times where I get these pains in my chest. They are very brief and few and far between. But they constantly poke at me with a reminder of my mortality. And for some reason It provokes me to think about grandkids…….



I didn’t anticipate the psychological imprint of the event. I still haven’t become accustomed to the chest incision scar. I can feel it every day, at every moment. It is more of a presence that I am not sure ever goes away. It gets irritated when it is hot, it rubs against the seat belt where I have to hold the belt away from my chest as I drive, certain clothing materials irritates it more than others and I still don’t like touching it in the shower. I have not yet acknowledged the visual in the mirror as a permanent part of my body.



Of course I never anticipated a Heart Attack, but I do anticipate living for awhile.