Safety Net

My Safety Net goes back to college this weekend.  He has been shadowing me like his brother did when recovering from bypass.  Only I could probably sneak out without him knowing it, but have gotten used to him just driving me around.  I am more agreeable to being dependent these days.

I have made comments on how aging has progressed and shown up physically.  The other age factor is the maturation of the 3 sons.  Jeff turned thirty last week.  My youngest can drink legally and today is Jordan's 28th birthday.  He is number two.  I'm always amazed at his willingness (or naive) to try things.  Not too many people would plop themselves in France for School without any knowledge of the language.  Or move to another state to start Law School.  Thankfully Auntie Phyllis was there to provide some assistance and the knowledge there will always be a meal waiting.

I was hoping to be more descriptive on the process of going through Chemo, but have not been able to express the experience yet.  It is usually confined to I'm doing OK, nations and tired, with little appetite.  But that does not really give the reader a grasp of the experience. I am hoping that one of these late nights it will hit me and come pouring out.  You can tell It's late in the morning and I'm listening to a Bee Gees PBS concert in the background.

I have heard many stories of folks that have bouts with cancer.  Some are positive, some are not so positive.  Every time I have come to the point where I am sure I will survive this, a news report or a casual remark will bring back the reality that death does occur.  Eventually.  But as a friend has put it, it is not my time.  That is my safety net that I am clinging to.  Hope in that it is not my time yet.

2am

Today marks the end of the first week of Chemo round 1.  To refresh, the Chemo course prescribed is 8 rounds of IV infusion followed by two weeks of pills plus one week of recovery.  I feel tired  nautious, and am kind of in a wierd physical state that is hard to explain.  I have no cravings for the food I dreamed of in the hospital, what I eat just doesn't seem to matter much even though I can eat just about anything I want.  Come to think of it, the only craving I have is for the ume onigiri at. Nijiya.

To put it all in perspective, my sister in law died of breast cancer over 16 years ago.  Her Chemo was more potent, and racked her body tremendously.  She was courageous and you never quite understood what pain she was going through.  She was so strong.  What I am going through is not even close.
Here is to Erin's memory.  We miss you.


Old man cranky complaints:  Why am I paying for cable to watch infomercials on ceramic pans and air fryers on multiple channels late at night?  The answer is;  How to tighten crepey skin.  Yeah, losing 30 lbs. has left me with the old person's body.  When I flex my muscles, the muscle droops and skin looks like crepe paper.  And I thought thinning hair was bad.

Chemo notes:  No sign of losing hair.  I have developed the coping system of Cutting it short, don't look too closely, and keep in denial.  The disturbing side affect is not the hair loss, but the thinning of the hair.  How am I supposed to recognize if my thinning hair is due to age or Chemo?  Time to check out the air fryer.

Step 3

Step 1:  Colonoscopy, Step 2: Colon surgery, Step 3 Chemotherapy.  Sitting in the Chemo room today, observations have shown that cancer is more common than i assumed.  When you start counting the number of people in the large waiting room and the number of patients getting treatment next to you times 3 treatment rooms you begin to understand that the war on cancer is still waging.

Other than being on the younger side, there were still some even younger.  Cancer may increase in odds as we age, but is still indiscriminate in type, gender or stage of life.

I came across these two articles published in the Chicago Times on the reporter undergoing a colonoscopy and reader reactions.  You can scroll down for the original publication.
Did you schedule your colonoscopy this year?

http://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/post-tribune/opinion/ct-ptb-davich-colonoscopy-follow-up-st-0817-20160816-story.html

I Looked It Up on YouTube

YouTube has been great when it comes to diagnosing and repairing the car.  It always amazes me that folks are willing to impart their knowledge of the obscure every day solutions.  It finally came down to figuring out how to remove my wedding ring from my overgrown knuckle.  One would think that losing 30lbs would reduce the size of the finger.  While I have gained senior skin that tends to drape from my skeletal structure, the fat around the ring finger has not diminished.

The nurse tried in vain to remove the ring before my heart surgery.  She finally gave up. Something about metal and surgery don't mesh well.  This time the surgical staff didn't even to make an attempt and insulated it with tape.  Thoughts of my ring shorting out a surgical tool through a bolt of static charge in the middle of the procedure came to mind.  I finally looked it up on you tube.

I had the choice between the Windex (original blue formula with Amonia D) soaking of the finger and the technique of unwinding a ribbon tied tightly around the ring finger.  Both seemed feasible and easy.  Being the engineer (by the way, nurses for some reason know when they are dealing with engineers) I decided to try method B.  After numerous attempts using different types of materials, I decided soaking the finger in chemicals didn't sound so bad after all.  So much for empirical experimentation.

OK, since both failed, and a few phone calls to local jewelers on their capability to cut off the ring and the cost to repair seemed a bit.......   destructive.  It didn't seem quite right to saw through a symbol of our eternal love, while sweeping up the left over shavings.

Desperation (vs. logic) sometimes results in a simple solution.  I did both.  I pre soaked the finger and borrowed a wider ribbon from Gayle's craft stash.  The ring indentation in the circumference of my finger is still visible and we won't  mention the farmer type tan it left behind.

Why the story of removing the wedding ring?  I'm not comfortable without it.  I am finding it difficult to resolve my feelings of starting Chemo without it on my finger.

Chicken and Suits

I am in the recovery mode, meaning I am still healing from the surgery and still on a semi restricted diet.  I am often left with watching tv at odd hours, which have been filled with the Olympics.  After five years, I am still watching the Popeye chicken lady and updated and more slickly produced Hollywood Suit ads.
 
I have been blessed to be the recipient of many prayers and support during this experience.  The most memorable visit was from my 91 year old aunt who came to visit me in the hospital.  She walks in with her walker, looks at me and asks what is wrong with me.  That was a highlight of my stay.

Chemo starts next week.  I have no idea what to expect since everyone reacts differently to the meds. And we all know how I do in normal circumstances.  A port is being inserted on Monday, Chemo 101 class (my title) on Tues. and then round 1 starts Weds.  I did see the surgeon today and he has confirmed that I am doing well in the healing process.  My diet is unrestricted (but not according to Gayle).  I did have my first Peets coffee this morning in two months and still feel the caffeine affect. Im sure I will be up late tonight watching chicken and suits commercials, planning to fill my craving check list this weekend and yes,  Popeyes is not on the list.

Ir-regular

My stay at Torrance Memorial was an extended one, due to unforeseen complications of my recovery.  Regular patients for this type of surgery expected stay was 3 to 5 days.  I was delicately told I was not regular.  After I started digesting soft food and was swiftly released.  It was a strange feeling of being doted with attention for so long, then exited with silent efficiency out of the building.

 During those two weeks, I had the privilege of receiving care from a great staff of nurses and nurses aides.  If there are any parallels between my heart surgery and colon surgery, it was the tremendous care I received from the nursing staff.

I am now on a soft diet.  That means I eat things that are easy to digest and chewing thoroughly. It expected that it will be a month before I can eat the items I have been craving including that ice cold Coke.  The only good news is that I am restricted from raw vegetables and salads.

Today was filled with appointments with the Oncologist and Gastrolologist.  Chemo is being scheduled and long term colon screening planned.  The sobering news is that without Chemo, the chances of cancer returning is 50%.  With treatment, it is reduced to 25%.  I am thankful for the two doctors giving it to me straight. Those odds are slowly sinking in.   I should be looking at 25% as being in my favor and irregular patients seem to defy those odds.  Lets hope irregular translates into improved odds.