I Miss the Cold

The chemo infusion as stated before has a side affect in reaction to cold.  Grabbing cold shopping carts, opening refrigeration units at stores, walking outside at night.

The worst part is craving cold foods and drinks.  I'm still craving ice cold cokes, ice cream, cold left overs.  Case in point we recently brought home a leftover tuna sandwich.  In order to eat it, I have to pull it out of the refrigerator, remove the lettuce and tomatoe to microwave, wait for the lettuce and tomatoe to cool to warm to room temperature or play Russian roulette with the microwave.

I have learned to keep a bottle of powerade next to me in bed under the covers to keep it Luke warm. Room temperature is still too cold.  Even asking for water at restaurants without ice comes too cold.

The urge for cold often overcomes common sense.  I order before realizing my error in judgment.

So here's looking forward to next March. Cold weather or hot, I'm going for a coke float.

Comfort and Joy

Just when I start feeling comfortable with the process of dealing with stage 3 Colon cancer, I get hit with accounts of others that had stage 3 and 4 and did not survive.  It becomes more apparent that is the example of what it means to persevere.  It not only is the physical and mental aspects of surviving surgery and chemo, but also the emotional toughness to continue when there are overwhelming accounts of folks that have not survived.

The guilt factor has not taken hold of me.  I know of too many folks and friends that have been taken way too early.  There should be some bit of contemplation of why am I still here.  I still have my hopes for the future, more grand kids, hope that both Gayle and I are healthy enough to reach retirement and beyond.  These are assumptions that I will be cancer free and nothing else will pop up.  But we all know life does not always deal those cards.

So the search for the joy continues.  It may seem obvious for some, but I am still struggling with it.  My earthly joy is my family, which often can obscure the need for spiritual assurance.  My health issues have exposed that void.  I now better understand the need of spiritual assurance during times of doubt.  I am still working on the heavenly joy.

Thanksgiving will be at home.  Low white cell count and other blood factors limits my exposure to people who might be sick.  Jared came home only to be exiled to the Merit house with Judy and Cliff.  He is recovering from a cold.

Happy Thanksgiving

Round 5

There remains an unpredictability in the chemo therapy process other than its effectivity.  For the second time, the infusion for round 5 has been postponed one week due low white cell count.  It's bothersome in that it not only pushes out the chemo process window to Feb., it affects thanksgiving.  Chemo is now scheduled for Tues. of next week.  They moved it up one day to give me a little more time before Thanksgiving.

The effects of the infusion is worse the week of the procedure, especially the first three days.  I still have not resolved the nausea and daily vomiting.  Eating is not the worse part, not feeling well and fatigue is.  Therefore we are adjusting our Thanksgiving plans to be determined on how I am feeling. But it will be good to have #3 home for the weekend.

As you can tell sleep issues continue.  Late night, early mornings are prime time for web surfing, thinking and frequent relief visits due to my increased intake of fluids.  Blogging becomes a little more challenging with the one finger typing on the IPad.

Tina to the Rescue

On a previous post I had shown a picture of the pill bag Tina made for me that I carry around religiously.  It was a more masculine version of the borrowed one she made for Gayle.  The morning after posting my adventures with nausea I found a package on my doorstep.  Apparently the Japanese have products that deal with this sort of problems.  They are bags from Daiso that are used mainly for bodily function disposal.   It is a bag with gel to absorb liquids and neutralize odors. They include a bag to dispose of the inner bag.

Leave it to the Japanese to invent the product and leave it to Tina to find it.  If you ever have been at Daiso, you know it would take a few days of searching to even come across the product.  That does not include picking it up, reading the instructions and understanding the translation.  My backpack, car and jacket pocket now have them ready for use.

I did meet with the nurse practitioner this afternoon and we are trying some alternative and additional meds to eliminate my daily visits.  I am a little more understanding what women go through when they are nauseous during pregnancy.  It is the female friends that offer suggestions of dealing with the nausea.  The slightest smell, position or taste can set it off.

 

For the life of me, I can't remember how to spell nausea and it's various versions.  I need to go back and edit check my previous posts for the spelling errors and spell check that inserted other words in it's place.

Update:  Tina says it is in the travel section at Daiso.

The Porcelain god

Subject Warning: Vomiting

I have inherited an intolerance for alcohol from my father.  I can tolerate maybe one or two sips of beer before I start feeling sick, and it would not take consuming the whole bottle to induce vomiting.
This creates problems of various proportions.  At one time I was thinking of joining a group dealing with Businesses in Japan.  As most know, socialization based on alcohol after hours is a requirement.  Not to mention my dislike for the taste of most alcoholic beverages (beer and wine in particular, sake being the exception).

I have adjusted by not participating in most social activities where alcohol is involved.   This is not the main reason for my anti socialization tendencies, but a factor.  I don't mind other people drinking, and my family members have not inherited the trait.  So it is not unusual to find beer or wine in the house.

All of this leads to the porcelain god, the toilet.  On our honeymoon, the hotel left us a bottle of complementary champagne.  I took two sips and ending up the entire evening in the bathroom.  Gayle on the other hand ended up ordering room service and enjoyed a nice meal.  I assume it was very nice from the charge on my bill.  From that point on, I avoided that experience other than due to illness.

With Chemo, especially this latest round (round 4)  I have found myself meeting the receptacle about twice a day.  Our visits are unpredictable and usually short in duration.  But what has come out is not one would expect.  I never experienced the pleasure of vomiting water before.  I do take anti nausea medications, but for some reason I assumed it would eliminate the nausea.  It lessens the affect and produces some unexpected side events.

Usually after my visit, things calm down and within an hour I am settled down.  Lately the visits have been late at night or early morning causing disruptions in my sleep patterns.  I have been learning the early signs that I might require a visit, but am being proactive in always carrying a bag with me (I wonder if Amazon sells airline barf bags).

So if you see me suddenly excuse myself without saying anything, you can guess what may be occurring.  Thanks for your understanding and willingness to allow me to discuss the subject.