We are, or at least I am, at that age where our friends are passing away. It becomes a wave of guilt and regret, not keeping in touch, not doing enough to maintain a friendship, not taking the time for a brief conversation over the phone, a text or a 20 minute coffee break.
I read the obituaries in the various newspapers I subscribe to, LA Times, Daily Breeze and now the Nichi Bei Times and the Rafu Shimpo. Jon's obituary was posted today in the Rafu. He died on New Years day. Some things you don't know until you read the obituary. I never knew we both had english middle names, not japanese.
Jon was a part of my life during critical times. We were friends during my last year in California during the ninth grade. While my dad and sister had moved up to Washington state, my mom and I were temporarily housed at a motel until I graduated Jr. High school. It was a long walk to Marina del Rey Jr High from Washington Blvd., but half way there, I would stop by Jon's house and we would continue on.
Even at that age, Jon was a anomaly, a rebel an extremely intelligent one. He lived in a room in the back of his parent's detached garage. I didn't know much about his family or why he was back there at age 14, Our bond was our daily walk to school and that our girlfriends were best buddies. Yeah, ninth grade romance. Mieko and Lynn were two peas in a pod, both brilliant (I was probably the dumbest of the foursome) and in a relationship with two rebels without a cause.
When I moved shortly after graduation, he kept in touch. Ironically, we diverted to different but similar paths in high school. He went to Beverly Hills high, I went to Fort Vancouver. The similarity was that both had the modular class schedule that was similar to a college schedule. The academic day was split up into modules, and classes were not scheduled as a five day a week class. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays classes were different than the Tues. Thurs. classes. There were breaks in between to "enrich" our academic careers. In other words, a lot of free time to not study.
Im not sure how we stayed in touch, but we both applied to Long Beach State. When I moved down, he helped me find a place to rent. A naive freshman did not think about dorms or living situation when he packed up his car and drove down shortly before the school year started. I remember going through the classifieds with him and traveling around to see the different places to rent. He was already in the dorm. My memory was of him turning into a street and immediately turned the car around saying "im not letting you live in this neighborhood"
A year later we were roommates in an apartment. Im not sure how he put up with me, but he was usually at his girlfriend's place
Jon was hard to describe. He was opinionated, in a good way. When I found out he eventually went to law school, it didn't surprise me. He could be arrogant, stubborn, abrupt, but mix that with high intelligence and compassion for the non majority, he was a force to be reckoned with. He went on to UCLA for his masters in Social Welfare before becoming a Lawyer.
He was a good friend. As I look back, a lot of what I see in my middle son, the lawyer, reminds me of Jon. a little frightening, but with a great sense of comfort.
Jon was there during my wandering lost years. He helped anchor me, to prepare me for my future.
Not only did he get me to Long Beach State, he got me to a university that fit me, where I met my wife, where I had developed in the Christian faith, and set my path for the future in the aerospace industry.
My regrets Jon, is that I did not follow up with you, especially since you lived in Torrance. We had a few brief encounters, but not enough,
As a postscript, the list of these types of regrets is growing, I hope to trim the list.
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